tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-298841992024-03-13T22:43:43.003+11:00This is what it isStuff from my lifethisismehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01281027325104604961noreply@blogger.comBlogger260125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29884199.post-49624473274871550222012-08-26T17:16:00.000+10:002012-08-26T17:16:58.062+10:004 monthsToday my beautiful daughter is 4 months old. I have loved probably 90% of those 4 months, although some of it has been the hardest work I have ever done. <br />
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<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-D7k06aQcBEA/UDnJn2ZJQaI/AAAAAAAABmA/gG-35Fwm_-Y/s1600/IMG_1516.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-D7k06aQcBEA/UDnJn2ZJQaI/AAAAAAAABmA/gG-35Fwm_-Y/s400/IMG_1516.JPG" height="400" width="300" /></a></div>
She arrived by scheduled C section at 8.40am and came out yelling. We had no idea whether she was a boy or a girl until she arrived, so we had 3 names for each just in case. She is Lily May Vera.<br />
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Lily is a name we both love, and it works with our surname. My grandfather was over the moon that we chose it, as he was brought up by his Auntie Lil and is sure we used the name because of her.<br />
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May is the name my great grandmother was called ever since my father couldn't say grandma. It is also my maternal grandmothers middle name. My great uncle, her only son (Jelly, your friends father), told me that her sisters name was Lil.<br />
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Vera is named after a wonderful lady who lived next door to me and was a surrogate grandmother. I still have a photo of her on my fridge wherever I live. Lily will inherit a lot of her collection of dolls when she is old enough.<br />
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Lily will probably be our only child due to the roulette of IVF, my age, and several complications found during her birth. At least we have her to enjoy.thisismehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01281027325104604961noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29884199.post-27141459435521266802011-10-28T05:51:00.003+11:002011-10-28T06:05:32.478+11:0012 weeks and all is wellOne very healthy baby growing inside me. No chromosomal abnormalities showing in any of the tests, and my risk of Downs Syndrome is 1:1210 - much better than my age risk of 1:128.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-jrgsgn376kw/Tqmq5dOOfbI/AAAAAAAABfM/psANU7KSiZE/s1600/12%2Bweek%2Bscan.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 288px;" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-jrgsgn376kw/Tqmq5dOOfbI/AAAAAAAABfM/psANU7KSiZE/s400/12%2Bweek%2Bscan.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5668249510096043442" /></a><br /><br />We are both in awe of this life forming. We are so very lucky to have had a successful IVF cycle, and so quickly.<br /><br />We told Grandpa the other night. He said "Well done".thisismehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01281027325104604961noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29884199.post-4968738086863525092011-09-02T18:41:00.005+10:002011-09-02T18:47:51.082+10:00AnswersWe had my blood test today. Then we tried to keep occupied. Husband went to the gym and did some cooking, I ran errands and had a massage. My phone rang while I was in the supermarket.
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<br />Positive.
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<br />Positive.
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<br />Positive.
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<br />I'm stunned. And over the moon. And thrilled. Husband is still slightly in shock, but was trying to work out how to explain why he looked so happy if anyone asked him at work. We are both daunted too. We hoped for this result but have been preparing for the opposite.
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<br />Positive.
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<br />We've got a long way to go, but it's a beginning.
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<br />Positive
<br />thisismehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01281027325104604961noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29884199.post-41235798497428188872011-08-23T20:01:00.003+10:002011-08-23T20:32:02.150+10:00When do you stop?How do you know enough is enough?
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<br />I've been asking myself that since June 30th, the date of our first IVF pregnancy test. The negative one. The earth shattering one. The one which shook my world and left me shattered, wailing. I don't know how many times I can go through that. The depth of my reaction surprised me. I'd spent 2 weeks telling myself that it hadn't worked, and I wasn't pregnant, but that little kernel of hope was stronger than I knew, or had let myself believe.
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<br />When you have your mandatory pre IVF counselling appointment, when is enough enough is not something you talk about. You talk about what happens with any embryos if one of you dies while you still have some frozen, what do you do if you have finished your family and still have embryos, and the big one, how do you feel about being infertile. For the record, both of us left the decision to the survivor, I went with donate to an infertile couple or research, he went with research or destroy, and for me bereft, for him guilty.
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<br />We talked about enough before we started, and were feeling that one cycle was probably enough - use all embryos from the first harvest and leave it at that. We didn't base it on any specific logic, more around the unknown and a combination of money and my age. I don't know if that is right for me now.
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<br />I'm not the only person in this relationship. There are 2 of us in this marriage, and decisions like this cannot be made by only one. We are talking about it. The conversation happens at least once a week, and is still very much an exploration of ideas and what ifs. We don't have to decide yet, but it is there. Neither of us wants to close the door on having a family, but is this the only way?
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<br />All we can do for now is be the best aunt and uncle we can be to our gorgeous niece and nephew, the best big sister and brother in law to my 8 year old sister, the best surrogate aunt and uncle to other small people in our lives and hope that nature, my body and all the good wishes and prayers we have for us combine to make the current round a success.
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<br />Most importantly, we have each other.thisismehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01281027325104604961noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29884199.post-74284895065446870262011-07-22T21:46:00.002+10:002011-07-22T21:53:56.902+10:00Girding my loinsSo round one didn't work. I wasn't prepared for how emotionally shattered I would be when I got the phone call telling me that I wasn't pregnant. I spent the day in 2 parts, the public robot manager, and the weeping, wailing and gnashing of teeth hidden. <br /><br />So now, we wait again. Time for a month off, and then back we go again, to see how we go with the second embryo. <br /><br />Draining. So emotionally draining. We do a lot of talking. Thank goodness we have that.thisismehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01281027325104604961noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29884199.post-46497023226404753562011-06-07T19:27:00.002+10:002011-06-07T19:39:11.881+10:00Playing GodToday I've had 2 injections, one blood test, one internal ultrasound, and a bonding session with a speculum. Oddly enough, it was even less fun than it sounds.<br /><br />Why?<br /><br />All of this is working towards a Petri dish next week, which will hopefully be the beginning of our family. Samples from both of us, and the doctor using a needle to inject them together.<br /><br />We are blessed to live in a time where we have these medical options, and I am thankful that we don't have to live through the agonising months of trying, never knowing why we are not successful.<br /><br />At the same time I wonder, how does it feel to be that doctor? How does it feel to know that with every probe of the needle you are creating something which has the potential to be a life with all the possibilities that entails?thisismehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01281027325104604961noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29884199.post-77172601075224458712010-04-06T19:19:00.002+10:002010-04-06T19:48:13.978+10:00SoupI got a text from one of my friends yesterday asking me to make some soup. Just simple vegetable soup for her sick boyfriend until they can work out what is wrong with his stomach.<br /><br />I loved being able to help her out, and especially enjoyed being able to do something concrete. The simple physical actions of peeling and chopping the potatoes and carrots, picking and slicing the beans and then putting it in the pot with some vegetable stock, pasta and water was very satisfying. Stirring the soup gave my afternoon a soothing routine and smelling the soup throughout the house just made me happy.<br /><br />There is something I've always loved about the community of cooking and eating together. Now I've learnt about the community of preparing food for others, and not needing to be there to eat with them. I didn't need to be there to watch him eat it, I'm happy that he managed to keep it down and it didn't add to his pain.thisismehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01281027325104604961noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29884199.post-29166435262036481522010-02-16T19:20:00.005+11:002010-02-16T20:04:31.837+11:00HomeI've been mostly home for the last couple of weeks after I had my tonsils taken out (yes, ouch!) 2 weeks ago. I'm going back to work tomorrow, but wanted to wander around the garden I've enjoyed looking at during my recuperation.<br /><br /><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_tgiw-VorWqQ/S3pV0tfIDEI/AAAAAAAABa0/-9v_1jkjEWY/s1600-h/Pergola.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_tgiw-VorWqQ/S3pV0tfIDEI/AAAAAAAABa0/-9v_1jkjEWY/s400/Pergola.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5438753864055000130" /></a><br />Out the back door. This sold the house to me more than anything else. We've just painted it red and redone the white. It is my favourite part of the house to sit in and talk to friends, or just enjoy a coffee and the paper. Or a barbecue cooked by my gorgeous husband. The mint smell is just divine.<br /><br /><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_tgiw-VorWqQ/S3pV089HIsI/AAAAAAAABa8/8J3RVm8CT7Y/s1600-h/chili.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 330px; height: 400px;" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_tgiw-VorWqQ/S3pV089HIsI/AAAAAAAABa8/8J3RVm8CT7Y/s400/chili.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5438753868207301314" /></a><br />We gave most of the family 5 chili plants in a pot as part of their Christmas present, and kept 5 for ourselves. I can't wait to start cooking with these.<br /><br /><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_tgiw-VorWqQ/S3pV1xNpnWI/AAAAAAAABbU/7v5Y3S2fU78/s1600-h/Hibiscus.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 300px; height: 400px;" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_tgiw-VorWqQ/S3pV1xNpnWI/AAAAAAAABbU/7v5Y3S2fU78/s400/Hibiscus.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5438753882235313506" /></a><br />This hibiscus just keeps on giving - my poor husband has had to cut it back 4 times since we moved in here. It smells gorgeous, the birds love it and the flowers are sooooo pretty.<br /> <br /><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_tgiw-VorWqQ/S3pV1O4qiHI/AAAAAAAABbE/HKCmgm6adp4/s1600-h/Bed+1.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 298px; height: 400px;" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_tgiw-VorWqQ/S3pV1O4qiHI/AAAAAAAABbE/HKCmgm6adp4/s400/Bed+1.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5438753873020487794" /></a><br /><br /><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_tgiw-VorWqQ/S3pV1i3rU0I/AAAAAAAABbM/rdI1JRV4ovE/s1600-h/Bed+2.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_tgiw-VorWqQ/S3pV1i3rU0I/AAAAAAAABbM/rdI1JRV4ovE/s400/Bed+2.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5438753878385054530" /></a><br /><br />The plants in this bed mostly come from old rental places I lived in. Mum snaffled cuttings of everything I liked and kept them growing in pots at her house. Now they are settling into our house.<br /><br /><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_tgiw-VorWqQ/S3pWfwQV5OI/AAAAAAAABcc/TWdJuFXYsfk/s1600-h/Citrus.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 216px;" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_tgiw-VorWqQ/S3pWfwQV5OI/AAAAAAAABcc/TWdJuFXYsfk/s400/Citrus.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5438754603532674274" /></a><br /><br />I can't wait for these trees to begin fruiting. One of them is a double grafted lemon/lime tree, and the other is a lemon tree we were given for a wedding present. They were both so tiny when we planted them, but they are growing well.<br /><br /><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_tgiw-VorWqQ/S3pWKnu51dI/AAAAAAAABbk/6NteMLS_QaU/s1600-h/Tomato+plants.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_tgiw-VorWqQ/S3pWKnu51dI/AAAAAAAABbk/6NteMLS_QaU/s400/Tomato+plants.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5438754240467686866" /></a><br /><br />Our first vegie patch. It went absolutely crazy. so far we've enjoyed rhubarb, brocoli, silver beet, and tomatoes. Next year we plant different things there and move to the next patch we are planning at the moment. The rhurbarb came from my father in law.<br /><br /><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_tgiw-VorWqQ/S3pWKw_xvlI/AAAAAAAABbs/ew3nw0JjOeQ/s1600-h/Beans.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_tgiw-VorWqQ/S3pWKw_xvlI/AAAAAAAABbs/ew3nw0JjOeQ/s400/Beans.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5438754242954378834" /></a><br /><br />The fence is falling down, but we thought we'd get a summer of beans out of it first before we replace it in autumn. We are snap freezing them as we pick them to keep us well supplied.<br /><br /><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_tgiw-VorWqQ/S3pWLPHuPmI/AAAAAAAABb0/NUvNCNKv5sM/s1600-h/peeking.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_tgiw-VorWqQ/S3pWLPHuPmI/AAAAAAAABb0/NUvNCNKv5sM/s400/peeking.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5438754251040767586" /></a><br /><br />A little peek over the fence - no wonder we are such a popular place to visit for all the kids in our world. And yes, the new fence will have a gate.<br /><br /><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_tgiw-VorWqQ/S3pWLcQMG-I/AAAAAAAABb8/G-UAeCNODWs/s1600-h/Jasmine.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 300px; height: 400px;" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_tgiw-VorWqQ/S3pWLcQMG-I/AAAAAAAABb8/G-UAeCNODWs/s400/Jasmine.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5438754254565940194" /></a><br /><br />It wouldn't smell like home to me without jasmine. Lots of room there for another compost bin and more vegie patches.<br /><br /><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_tgiw-VorWqQ/S3pWfLnZTRI/AAAAAAAABcE/1O5gpD9UFA8/s1600-h/Side+bed.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 300px; height: 400px;" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_tgiw-VorWqQ/S3pWfLnZTRI/AAAAAAAABcE/1O5gpD9UFA8/s400/Side+bed.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5438754593697254674" /></a><br /><br />The plants in this bed all came from my Mum's house. Just before she moved from my childhood home we spent an afternoon raiding her garden and about 85% of our cuttings have taken.<br /><br /><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_tgiw-VorWqQ/S3pWfYfZDpI/AAAAAAAABcM/yldThHoDr7c/s1600-h/lord+and+master.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_tgiw-VorWqQ/S3pWfYfZDpI/AAAAAAAABcM/yldThHoDr7c/s400/lord+and+master.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5438754597153345170" /></a><br /><br />George thinks he is lord and master of this house - so I had to include him.<br /><br /><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_tgiw-VorWqQ/S3pWfi35L7I/AAAAAAAABcU/h7mo7j6Tf4M/s1600-h/Tomato.JPG"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 323px;" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_tgiw-VorWqQ/S3pWfi35L7I/AAAAAAAABcU/h7mo7j6Tf4M/s400/Tomato.JPG" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5438754599940468658" /></a> <br /><br />More fruits of the garden - picked today. They are exploding with flavour - I just wish they didn't hurt my throat still. Give me a few more days.<br /><br />That lovely husband of mine has done more than 95% of the work in the garden. I enjoy it, give my opinion and pull out the thistles. When I do the washing, I do the watering. We've got a long way to go to get it where we want to, but with the water tank, grey water and buckets in the shower we'll get there eventually. I love that it has so much of our history in it too.thisismehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01281027325104604961noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29884199.post-64242784386806935412010-01-02T22:50:00.004+11:002010-01-02T23:11:38.100+11:00Happy New YearAdmittedly, a very belated one.<br /><br />I've been spending some time on Facebook tonight, and I noticed that so many people have been commenting on what a terrible 2009 it was, and how they hoped it would be better in 2010.<br /><br />I didn't notice. I had a pretty good 2009, and so did most of my family.<br /><br />I married my very gorgeous husband 6 months ago tomorrow. I have had the privilege of meeting my very first nephew, and watching his first Christmas, and the joy that he has brought my brother and sister in law. Not to mention my parents, who are both besotted with their first grandchild. My mother retired from work, and finally acheived her dream of selling the house that she bought with my father and starting afresh. My smallest sister started school, and is loving every second of it - socially and intellectually. Did I mention marrying my gorgeous husband? My other brother didn't die in his nasty car accident the week before our wedding. I am so thankful for that. My cousins, my childhood partners in crime that I hadn't seen for 20 odd years are both back in my life. It feels like a hole in my heart has been plugged. I was there when my grandfather met 4 of his great grand children for the first time. My other sister has moved to Vietnam to teach for 2 years. I miss her like crazy, and Skype just isn't enough, but she will be home to visit in one month and 10 days. Yes, I'm counting. My stepfather has contributed to an exhibit at our Immigration Museum. I was so proud when I saw his name on the list (second!!!) of contributors, and photos.<br /><br />It hasn't been all roses. My brother could have died. But he didn't. And he managed to escort my sister down the aisle a week later at our wedding. I hope every day that he can get past the drinking. But I have finally accepted that I cannot fix it - he must when he is ready. One of my closest friends had a stroke. But he is still alive - and rehab is going well. My mother in law is getting less and less connected with reality - a diagnosis of full blown dementia cannot be far away now. Yet her fantasy land seems to be a very happy place for her. If she is happy, and we can keep the world around her functioning, that will do me for now.<br /><br />I hope that you see good things on the horizon for 2010, and enjoyed the festive season with your family and friends. Evalinn, your posts are making me hungry - I can only read them over breakfast.thisismehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01281027325104604961noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29884199.post-79748554201913368632009-08-15T21:19:00.003+10:002009-08-15T21:38:30.973+10:00Yes, I do still exist<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_tgiw-VorWqQ/SoaZ-iO3YMI/AAAAAAAABao/8gwgE0zaTr4/s1600-h/Myf+(15).JPG"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 213px; height: 320px;" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_tgiw-VorWqQ/SoaZ-iO3YMI/AAAAAAAABao/8gwgE0zaTr4/s320/Myf+(15).JPG" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5370148905305989314" /></a><br />I have been horribly slack. I've been slightly distracted by our wedding and honeymoon. Now I'm working on returning to normal life. I'm getting there, but there are days I think I would rather be on a beach in Thailand, or running around at our wedding radiating joy.<br /><br />Our wedding was truly wonderful. So much of the day didn't go according to plan, but the most important things did. I married my wonderful husband (yes, feel free to count how many times I still say that!) and we were surrounded by people who love us. <br /><br />It was fun. I lost count of the number of times I was told to stop talking as people wanted to take my photo and my mouth was open. I'm thankful for my good friend who told everyone just to get me on the upswing. I am thankful that my brother survived the car accident a week before the wedding and was able to attend and escort my sister down the aisle. I am amazed that my cousin found the strength to come to the wedding and sat in the pew with her estranged father, and they have been talking since. I am even happier that she bought her entire family for lunch the next day, and my grandfather met some of his great grandchildren for the first time.<br /><br />I am still laughing at my grandfather asking us for more great grandchildren less than 24 hours after we were married. I am still entertained by my other brother taking his very pregnant wife (due tomorrow!) for a dance and telling me that he was taking his wife and kid out for a spin. <br /><br />My sister was surrounded by family. I was so glad that she has those memories as she has started teaching in Vietnam for at least 2 years. Looking at the photos in her apartment, I am so proud to see photos from the wedding stuck into her mirror. <br /><br />Yes, that is me in the photo above. Everyone who has seen it has just laughed at it, and said it was so typically me. I think that is a good one to remove my anonymity with.thisismehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01281027325104604961noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29884199.post-69870601082871846702009-06-22T21:37:00.003+10:002009-06-22T21:46:07.704+10:00The performance review I won't be writingYou frustrate me.<br /><br />I wish that you could show a shred of initiative. Initiative does not mean stonewalling or ignoring processes because you don't like them.<br /><br />Smile. Your face won't crack.<br /><br />The world isn't so bad. I bet something happened positive this week and you weren't so overworked after all. I know you aren't so overworked. I just took more than half of your workload off you and the person I gave it to is thriving.<br /><br />There is no shame in asking questions. Ask as many as you need to until you are satisfied. Please for the love of God, ask the questions. The blank looks you give me drive me nuts. Conversation is a 2 way street.<br /><br />There is no such folder as the too hard basket. Ignoring things doesn't make them go away. Not far anyway. Just to my desk. That doesn't make me happy. I spend more time soothing and apologising than I do solving the problem. <br /><br />I am trying so hard to encourage you, bolster your confidence and give you the chance to learn. Take those chances.<br /><br />I have accepted that you are going to plod. I'm lowering my expectations. Maybe then I won't be so frustrated by you. <br /><br />Please just do your day to day and get it right. Don't then complain that you aren't getting opportunities. Opportunities come to those who go looking for them, not to those who sit there and complain about them.thisismehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01281027325104604961noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29884199.post-33857604439025847002009-05-12T19:50:00.002+10:002009-05-12T20:00:18.425+10:00I need a little ventOur wedding is on July 3. In about 48 days.<br /><br />All of our invitations have been sent out and we are starting to receive some wonderful RSVP's. We made an effort when we did our invitations to make sure that all the adults received separate invitations, even if they lived under the same roof, and that the 5 children we are inviting received their own invitations. I used to hate being lumped into an entity with my brother when we shared a house, and I still remember the excitement of being 6 and getting my own mail. I'm getting a tad irate though - first my father told me that I shouldn't have bothered sending my small sister her own invitation as it was too expensive. Today the best man asked why he was invited, and told us that we should not have bothered to separately invite his children and his parents. Aaaaaargh. Total extra cost was less than $5, and if someone is worth inviting to our wedding, it is worth inviting them properly. I've just been flabbergasted by the rudeness - why on earth must they complain. We could always uninvite them. I guess if this is the worst I have to complain about, life isn't too bad.<br /><br />On the plus side, the cake is going to be delicious. Raspberry chocolate. Yum. Yum. Yum. We tasted it on Saturday and fell in love with an inanimate object. All our paperwork is done. Our premartial counselling is all booked in. I always said that I wouldn't get married without it, and I'm not. <br /><br />And my dress is beautiful. I feel so comfortable, and yet like a princess in it. <br /><br />The countdown is on ...thisismehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01281027325104604961noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29884199.post-80212895702571348082009-05-04T21:15:00.004+10:002009-05-04T21:24:30.648+10:00HomeI've been really remiss in posting lately, but I seem to have been flat out crazy busy. Since my last post I've run a trivia night, sent off our wedding invitations and had a lovely month settling into our home with my gorgeous man. <br /><br />It feels like home now. Tonight I was organising dinner for tomorrow night, and it just felt so right that I was standing in our kitchen chopping vegetables for the shepherd's pie. Yesterday we went plant shopping, and I was so excited to get a double grafted lemon and lime tree. I miss my lemon tree from my old house, but I'm very pleased to say that the rosemary has thrived. It is fun planning our weeks and our time together. And our time apart. <br /><br />I'm sure we have hideous couply moments, but right now, everything is good.thisismehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01281027325104604961noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29884199.post-1124949237951127462009-04-03T21:01:00.001+11:002009-04-03T21:01:55.210+11:002.30Throbbing, constant throbbing. I can feel every blood vessel in my body when my heart beats. I want to tear out the offending part. Destroy the source of pain. <br /><br />Collapsing in the chair, I look up and beg "Make the pain stop"<br /><br />"You have an abscess under that tooth. You will need a root canal"thisismehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01281027325104604961noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29884199.post-45327234589272732422009-03-24T20:47:00.003+11:002009-03-24T21:09:23.887+11:00End of an eraWe settled on our new house last Wednesday. We spent the weekend painting and working out the best way to set up the rooms. We move house on Saturday. I have soooooo much packing still to do.<br /><br />Tonight on my way to the gym my brother stopped me. He said that he has just realised that tomorrow night is his last chance to tease the cat. When I said that he is welcome to visit and tease the cat whenever he likes he told me that it isn't the same. <br /><br />I'm so excited about the future and our life together, but right now I'm having a little cry. <br /><br />It has really hit me tonight that I won't be living with my brother anymore. He is my closest sibling. Always has been and always will be. He is 2 years, 9 hours and 11 minutes younger than me. I know that he will always be there for me, but I'm not going to have that daily contact anymore.<br /><br />I will miss that.<br /><br />I want him to be happy. He isn't at the moment. I can't make that happen for him. I worry about him. <br /><br />I will miss him.<br /><br />*Oh, and teasing the cat - more like spending hours patting him, scratching his belly and talking to him. Definitely not a case for the RSPCA.thisismehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01281027325104604961noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29884199.post-4603973615906181902009-02-11T20:20:00.002+11:002009-02-11T20:22:38.405+11:00Rollercoaster<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_tgiw-VorWqQ/SZKYnPIrR9I/AAAAAAAABZo/gvg3qMOMmlA/s1600-h/0,,6482231,00.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 249px; height: 320px;" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_tgiw-VorWqQ/SZKYnPIrR9I/AAAAAAAABZo/gvg3qMOMmlA/s320/0,,6482231,00.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5301467511213737938" /></a><br />I am completely and utterly relieved. My friends and family are all safe. Some property is still in doubt, but the irreplaceable is safe.<br /><br />I am overwhelmed by the scale of the destruction. Places I have loved are now all gone. Other places I love are still under threat.<br /><br />I feel a part of my heart breaking when I hear the burnt out ask people not to donate fridges and microwaves. "The thought is nice, but it reminds me I have nowhere to put them". My heart breaks again when I hear an appeal for suits so that people have something to wear to the funerals.<br /><br />I hope that those who started these fires have enough flames when they burn in hell.<br /><br />I want to give, and give, and give to this <a href="http://www.redcross.org.au/vic/services_emergencyservices_victorian-bushfires-appeal-2009.htm">appeal</a>thisismehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01281027325104604961noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29884199.post-42056583403948193302009-02-02T20:47:00.004+11:002009-02-02T21:28:19.713+11:00Your roots are showingSo, it's been a bit hot here. 113 in the shade kinda hot (yes Jelly, I know, but 45 doesn't look anywhere near as impressive). We've all been suffering severe meltification.<br /><br />So I'm driving home from work last Wednesday. Revelling in the airconditioning and being thankful for it. Seriously contemplating sleeping in the car, just to stay cool.<br /><br />Pop. Hissssssssssssssssssssssssss. Temperature gauge went hotter than hell. Steam and fluid everywhere. Luckily I've already put my indicator on, and I nursed it around the corner out of traffic. <br /><br />Thank goodness for my mum. She lent me her car to get through the saga of tow trucks, service calls and mechanics.<br /><br />So Friday is hotly hideous. Or hideously hot. One of the two. Meltilicious. I'm finishing up at work on Friday night about 6.45. Yes, I know. But I'd done 3 performance reviews and I wanted to get them all documented. The lights went out. The airconditioning went off. I said a word that my mother would wash my mouth out with soap for using. <br /><br />Did I mention I work on the 18th floor now? Possibly not the best day to be wearing heels. Walking time. Down the 18 floors I trot, regretting all the while that my water bottle had just been picked up in the recycling collection. Down 2 more floors to the second level of the carpark. <br /><br />No car key.<br /><br />More mouth washable words. I'm not walking back up those stairs even if security will let me. I really hope Mum has a spare key for her car. Yes, she does. Time to trek 3 blocks to get a tram to Mums. Stupid heels. Not made for standing 45 minutes at the stop, or standing up for the whole hour home. <br /><br />Made it home. No further incident. 3 hours late.<br /><br />Saturday morning. Can't find the spare key. I know I put it somewhere safe so I'd know where it was. Frantically running around searching. No joy. My brother goes outside to help. Finds Friday's missing key on the front windscreen under the wiper. Guess I dropped it in the carpark and couldn't see it in the dark. Bother. <br /><br />Feeling kinda stupid. Wonder if people had the same problem with horses.thisismehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01281027325104604961noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29884199.post-72481780128138191752009-01-11T08:30:00.003+11:002009-01-11T08:50:27.609+11:002009I'm going for simple and relaxed this year.<br /><br />So far this year I've bought a house and scheduled a wedding. <br /><br />We settle on our new house in March, and I'm really excited. Originally we were planning on building a new house, and had chosen the house we wanted to build. I would still love to live in that house, but now isn't the time. We started looking at existing houses in early December, and found our new house the Saturday before Christmas. It was the first house that we had looked at that I walked into and felt like I was home. Luckily fiancee felt the same way. We are drowning in real estate paperwork right now but it will pass. Thank goodness we took the time to get our loan preapproved before we started looking. Such a relief.<br /><br />We are getting married on Friday July 3rd. For a decision we only made a week ago, things are moving really quickly. Our church was a no brainer, although we are still tossing up between 4 ministers. Yesterday we booked our reception venue. My sister and I went out yesterday to look at wedding dresses, not expecting any more than ideas. In the first shop we went to, I tried on a couple of very different dresses. They were both gorgeous but not quite me. I cracked up though, when the sales lady told me to put my arms above my head and dive into the dress. I felt like I was 4 again and mum was trying to get my into clothes. The second shop was amazing. The fitting rooms were the size of my loungeroom and the saleslady gave us carte blanche to run around the shop and choose all the dresses I wanted to try on. Then we lined the walls of the fitting room with dresses and went for it. We learnt just how bad I look in stark white. Ivory for me thank you. So many dresses wore me. I didn't wear them. One dress though, I wore. It was beautiful. I bought it. Ivory, strapless, with a court train which buttons up out of the way. I'll post a photo after the wedding. Getting a little bit excited now.thisismehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01281027325104604961noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29884199.post-34287916390593660442008-12-24T15:33:00.002+11:002008-12-24T15:34:26.524+11:00Merry ChristmasI hope you all have a safe and happy Christmas. Enjoy the time with your family.thisismehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01281027325104604961noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29884199.post-58944821334177034232008-12-01T22:09:00.004+11:002008-12-01T22:28:21.757+11:00The unfortunate incident of the cat in the night time<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_tgiw-VorWqQ/STPGQsTralI/AAAAAAAABZg/89whVE9XIUU/s1600-h/100_2523.JPG"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_tgiw-VorWqQ/STPGQsTralI/AAAAAAAABZg/89whVE9XIUU/s320/100_2523.JPG" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5274777578654886482" /></a><br /><br />So the crescent moon, Jupiter and Venus are making a smiley face in the night sky. I just wish my camera could take better photos. I tried my best though.<br /><br />While I was trying my best, his Royal Highness, King George, ruler of this house was getting stroppy. I'm the worst cat mum on the planet if you believe him. Especially at night. First I have the nerve to feed him his fresh cat mince. Then I shut him in to stop him doing battle with the possum population. I'm not at my best when I deal with corpses first thing in the morning. But I digress.<br /><br />He's been doing his best to get out at night. Suicide by defenestration will be his cause of death. He's been throwing himself against the doors - and it's a miracle none of the glass on our doors and windows has been broken.<br /><br />So tonight he tried to get his revenge. He managed to shut my front door, even though it was snibbed. Locked out in the dark, with only my camera and the phone to keep me company. Thank goodness I had the phone because I was talking to Mum.<br /><br />So I ring the doorbell. My brother sleeps in the room next to the front door. The doorbell is right outside his door. I ring the doorbell again. And again. And again. I try the staccato pushing on the bell. It sounds like it has an unfortunate stutter. Or the hiccups. I yell through his open window "please get up and let me in - George just locked me out". Mum has hysterics on the phone. Nothing. Except the dulcet tones of his snoring. <br /><br />Right about now, shoes would have been a good thing to be wearing. Mum is still hysterical on the phone. Oooh, the mosquitoes are out too. What a fun night.<br /><br />Thank goodness. Mum still has a key to our house. 15 minutes later she appears, complete with a note and pinwheel scones for my brother. <br /><br />I think I need ice cream now.thisismehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01281027325104604961noreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29884199.post-64328384181549991252008-10-10T23:34:00.001+11:002008-10-10T23:34:45.024+11:00Committment"This is getting ridiculous. Will you marry me?"<br /><br />"What? What on earth did you just say?"<br /><br />"Now I'm down on one knee, will you marry me?"<br /><br />"Really? You mean it?"<br /><br />"I wouldn't ask unless I meant it"<br /><br />"In that case, yes. Yes, yes, yes"<br /><br />"I've wanted to ask you all day, but haven't got you alone"thisismehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01281027325104604961noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29884199.post-3753450735856035332008-10-08T22:01:00.002+11:002008-10-08T22:25:01.972+11:00Home againIt feels very strange to be home. Our holiday was wonderful and we have made some brilliant friends. Back to work tomorrow which I'm really not that enthusiastic about. <br /><br />In other news ....<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_tgiw-VorWqQ/SOyYZ3uIuZI/AAAAAAAAA_A/sqGDTWAamdQ/s1600-h/Amended+Ring+1.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_tgiw-VorWqQ/SOyYZ3uIuZI/AAAAAAAAA_A/sqGDTWAamdQ/s320/Amended+Ring+1.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5254742435456137618" /></a><br /><br />Yes in Florence. Ring from Singapore. No wedding date set yet.thisismehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01281027325104604961noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29884199.post-77577331338389460572008-09-05T12:20:00.000+10:002008-09-05T12:21:01.317+10:00Bon voyageI'm off - back in October.thisismehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01281027325104604961noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29884199.post-86758942998810156952008-08-30T16:59:00.003+10:002008-08-30T17:16:33.502+10:00It's nearly timeAt 3.30 on Friday afternoon, our flight will take off. I hope.<br /><br />The boy and I are heading off to Europe for the first time. Our first stop is Ireland, where we will be spending 2 nights in Dublin before heading off on a 3 day tour of the South of Ireland. I'll catch up with one of my friends who lives in Galway while we are there. Then, back to Dublin for one night before heading off to London.<br /><br />2 nights in London, where we will catch up with my cousins and about 5 friends. Then to Amsterdam where we have 2 nights, and I will catch up with another friend. Then to Berlin, where I will indulge my history walking to my hearts content. And then Prague, where we will catch up with another friend of mine, and 2 days and nights of exploring. And then to Munich, where we managed to be in town for the first day of Oktöberfest - and wasn't the boy happy when I told him that. I can't believe I kept it a secret for 9 months.<br /><br />Then to Venice for 2 nights, followed by Rome for 2 nights, and then Florence for 2 nights. My sister has given me long shopping lists for Italy, but I think I'd rather soak up the country. And quite probably the coffee. Then we are off to Switzerland for 2 nights, staying up in the Alps. We don't have much snow in Melbourne, and definitely not spectacular mountains, so I'm really looking forward to it. I've spent some time on the website of the hotel we are staying in, and loving the webcams showing the snow. I've packed thermals.<br /><br />Then to Paris. I don't know where to start in Paris, but I'm really looking forward to it. The Lonely Planet European guidebook is packed, and so is the Paris guidebook. So much to see and do. So much wandering to do.<br /><br />Then back to London. I suspect I'll be a little tired by now. One more night in London before we start heading home. First stop Singapore. 3 nights to laze by the pool, visit the zoo, have a drink at Raffles and visit Changi. Then home. 2 days, and back to work. <br /><br />Then I can think about a career change.thisismehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01281027325104604961noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29884199.post-48441520267442550252008-08-24T21:50:00.003+10:002008-08-24T22:02:08.487+10:00GraceI'm quite ashamed of myself and the way that I'm feeling right now. <br /><br />I had a pretty ordinary week at work last week - I was either one or two staff down every day, and we've been fighting some pretty tight deadlines. The worst of these deadlines are as part of a project we have taken on as a favour and every single person involved has been calling me every 5 minutes, or emailing me and then calling before the email gets to me. Driving me crazy. Doing it as part of 13 - 14 hour days without breaks on top of my usual job has just been insane.<br /><br />By the end of the week I was feeling really tired, very sore, and very resentful. I resented that they didn't appreciate we still had full time jobs to do, as well as organising their project. I was so frustrated that the constant calls from multiple people were giving conflicting requests and information. So very over it.<br /><br />At lunchtime on Friday I got a call from the mail room. There was a package for me and I had to come and collect it. It was a massive bunch of lilies for me, thanking me for all my hard work.<br /><br />They are just beautiful flowers, but every time I look at them on the mantelpiece, all I can think about is my frustration and resentment towards the people who sent them to me. <br /><br />I ashamed of my lack of grace. They have made the effort to send me something beautiful to thank me, and all I am doing is resenting it.thisismehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01281027325104604961noreply@blogger.com4