2.30

Throbbing, constant throbbing. I can feel every blood vessel in my body when my heart beats. I want to tear out the offending part. Destroy the source of pain.

Collapsing in the chair, I look up and beg "Make the pain stop"

"You have an abscess under that tooth. You will need a root canal"

End of an era

We settled on our new house last Wednesday. We spent the weekend painting and working out the best way to set up the rooms. We move house on Saturday. I have soooooo much packing still to do.

Tonight on my way to the gym my brother stopped me. He said that he has just realised that tomorrow night is his last chance to tease the cat. When I said that he is welcome to visit and tease the cat whenever he likes he told me that it isn't the same.

I'm so excited about the future and our life together, but right now I'm having a little cry.

It has really hit me tonight that I won't be living with my brother anymore. He is my closest sibling. Always has been and always will be. He is 2 years, 9 hours and 11 minutes younger than me. I know that he will always be there for me, but I'm not going to have that daily contact anymore.

I will miss that.

I want him to be happy. He isn't at the moment. I can't make that happen for him. I worry about him.

I will miss him.

*Oh, and teasing the cat - more like spending hours patting him, scratching his belly and talking to him. Definitely not a case for the RSPCA.

Rollercoaster

I am completely and utterly relieved. My friends and family are all safe. Some property is still in doubt, but the irreplaceable is safe.

I am overwhelmed by the scale of the destruction. Places I have loved are now all gone. Other places I love are still under threat.

I feel a part of my heart breaking when I hear the burnt out ask people not to donate fridges and microwaves. "The thought is nice, but it reminds me I have nowhere to put them". My heart breaks again when I hear an appeal for suits so that people have something to wear to the funerals.

I hope that those who started these fires have enough flames when they burn in hell.

I want to give, and give, and give to this appeal

Your roots are showing

So, it's been a bit hot here. 113 in the shade kinda hot (yes Jelly, I know, but 45 doesn't look anywhere near as impressive). We've all been suffering severe meltification.

So I'm driving home from work last Wednesday. Revelling in the airconditioning and being thankful for it. Seriously contemplating sleeping in the car, just to stay cool.

Pop. Hissssssssssssssssssssssssss. Temperature gauge went hotter than hell. Steam and fluid everywhere. Luckily I've already put my indicator on, and I nursed it around the corner out of traffic.

Thank goodness for my mum. She lent me her car to get through the saga of tow trucks, service calls and mechanics.

So Friday is hotly hideous. Or hideously hot. One of the two. Meltilicious. I'm finishing up at work on Friday night about 6.45. Yes, I know. But I'd done 3 performance reviews and I wanted to get them all documented. The lights went out. The airconditioning went off. I said a word that my mother would wash my mouth out with soap for using.

Did I mention I work on the 18th floor now? Possibly not the best day to be wearing heels. Walking time. Down the 18 floors I trot, regretting all the while that my water bottle had just been picked up in the recycling collection. Down 2 more floors to the second level of the carpark.

No car key.

More mouth washable words. I'm not walking back up those stairs even if security will let me. I really hope Mum has a spare key for her car. Yes, she does. Time to trek 3 blocks to get a tram to Mums. Stupid heels. Not made for standing 45 minutes at the stop, or standing up for the whole hour home.

Made it home. No further incident. 3 hours late.

Saturday morning. Can't find the spare key. I know I put it somewhere safe so I'd know where it was. Frantically running around searching. No joy. My brother goes outside to help. Finds Friday's missing key on the front windscreen under the wiper. Guess I dropped it in the carpark and couldn't see it in the dark. Bother.

Feeling kinda stupid. Wonder if people had the same problem with horses.

2009

I'm going for simple and relaxed this year.

So far this year I've bought a house and scheduled a wedding.

We settle on our new house in March, and I'm really excited. Originally we were planning on building a new house, and had chosen the house we wanted to build. I would still love to live in that house, but now isn't the time. We started looking at existing houses in early December, and found our new house the Saturday before Christmas. It was the first house that we had looked at that I walked into and felt like I was home. Luckily fiancee felt the same way. We are drowning in real estate paperwork right now but it will pass. Thank goodness we took the time to get our loan preapproved before we started looking. Such a relief.

We are getting married on Friday July 3rd. For a decision we only made a week ago, things are moving really quickly. Our church was a no brainer, although we are still tossing up between 4 ministers. Yesterday we booked our reception venue. My sister and I went out yesterday to look at wedding dresses, not expecting any more than ideas. In the first shop we went to, I tried on a couple of very different dresses. They were both gorgeous but not quite me. I cracked up though, when the sales lady told me to put my arms above my head and dive into the dress. I felt like I was 4 again and mum was trying to get my into clothes. The second shop was amazing. The fitting rooms were the size of my loungeroom and the saleslady gave us carte blanche to run around the shop and choose all the dresses I wanted to try on. Then we lined the walls of the fitting room with dresses and went for it. We learnt just how bad I look in stark white. Ivory for me thank you. So many dresses wore me. I didn't wear them. One dress though, I wore. It was beautiful. I bought it. Ivory, strapless, with a court train which buttons up out of the way. I'll post a photo after the wedding. Getting a little bit excited now.

Merry Christmas

I hope you all have a safe and happy Christmas. Enjoy the time with your family.

The unfortunate incident of the cat in the night time

So the crescent moon, Jupiter and Venus are making a smiley face in the night sky. I just wish my camera could take better photos. I tried my best though.

While I was trying my best, his Royal Highness, King George, ruler of this house was getting stroppy. I'm the worst cat mum on the planet if you believe him. Especially at night. First I have the nerve to feed him his fresh cat mince. Then I shut him in to stop him doing battle with the possum population. I'm not at my best when I deal with corpses first thing in the morning. But I digress.

He's been doing his best to get out at night. Suicide by defenestration will be his cause of death. He's been throwing himself against the doors - and it's a miracle none of the glass on our doors and windows has been broken.

So tonight he tried to get his revenge. He managed to shut my front door, even though it was snibbed. Locked out in the dark, with only my camera and the phone to keep me company. Thank goodness I had the phone because I was talking to Mum.

So I ring the doorbell. My brother sleeps in the room next to the front door. The doorbell is right outside his door. I ring the doorbell again. And again. And again. I try the staccato pushing on the bell. It sounds like it has an unfortunate stutter. Or the hiccups. I yell through his open window "please get up and let me in - George just locked me out". Mum has hysterics on the phone. Nothing. Except the dulcet tones of his snoring.

Right about now, shoes would have been a good thing to be wearing. Mum is still hysterical on the phone. Oooh, the mosquitoes are out too. What a fun night.

Thank goodness. Mum still has a key to our house. 15 minutes later she appears, complete with a note and pinwheel scones for my brother.

I think I need ice cream now.