I hate Hewlett Packard

and I will never, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever purchase a product from them ever again. Ever. Ever. It would be too soon if I had to deal with them in a post apocalyptic world.

My laptop is dead. The hard drive has bad sectors. I don't think putting them in the naughty corner will help. I am sad. The very little data that I have unbacked up is lost. Go on, back up yours now.

And now, the fun really begins. My laptop is still under warranty.When I called the service and warranty helpline they told me that they could not authorise a warranty repair unless I had the laptop with me and could give them the serial number. This was even though I had given them the case number that included my serial number. He even said he had it, but refused to authorise the repair. Then he said that he wouldn't authorise the repair until I had done some diagnostic testing - um, hello, it is in the computer shop, and if I didn't do it then, I would need to do it over the weekend using the online support. Hmmm, challenging, computer no start, how about I go online with it to do some diagnostic testing. What planet are these people on? I had to ask to speak to a team leader and refuse to get off the line until I did, and then he authorised my repair. I felt like a right bitch doing it, but I was so frustrated that I couldn't get any help from them. Of course, then he told me that I had to deliver the laptop for repair myself to the only service centre in Melbourne, more than 40 kilometres from my house, and 60 from my work, and they were only open between 9 and 5 Monday to Friday. Anyone else see the problem with that? I work 8.30 - 5.30 Monday to Friday. It took another 20 minutes to get the phone number for the service centre, and then he gave me the Sydney phone number.

The Sydney phone number was a blessing in disguise though - I called them and she told me that I had to deliver it in business hours myself, or wear the cost of a courier. I started thinking about it, and a lightbulb went on. One of the reasons that I chose this laptop was that it had pick up and delivery warranty service. 10 deep breaths and a lap of the floor, and I was ready to gird my loins and enter the fray with Hewlett Packard again. 10 minutes to wade through the menu options - why is it so hard just to talk to a person? Think of all the extra employment it would create. Then a different person from their support team. I gave the case details again, and asked to arrange a courier to pick up my laptop, take it to the repair centre, get it fixed and return it to me. Hold again, while I get told what a valuable customer I am. Oooh, I'm feeling the love. Yes, we can arrange a courier. Hallelujah!!! I can't tell you who our courier company are, they will need to call you to arrange pickup. Much stamping of feet and silent gnashing of teeth. My lovely colleagues kept score, and apparently I gave my address 7 times, spelling it each time, getting slower and S-L-O-W-E-R, and with more and more exagerrated enunciation. Then I got to give my mobile number. They stopped counting, but when I finally got off the phone, they sang my phone number to me. I have been promised a phone call from the courier company on Monday to arrange pick up, but if I don't hear from them it is OK for me to call Hewlett Packard back on Wednesday. I want to cry with frustration just thinking about it.

Am I asking too much? I just want to buy a product that works. If, heaven forbid, something goes wrong, I want to be able to call someone who can communicate clearly and fluently, who listens without interrupting me, and then provides me with intelligent options. Please don't treat me like an idiot, and make me think that you have policies to actively avoid meeting your warranty obligations. If I hadn't insisted on speaking to a team leader, would my warranty repair have been authorised. If I hadn't called back, would they have met their courier pick up and delivery obligations? I am a consumer of their product, and their "service" now will effect whether I will be a repeat purchaser. It isn't going to happen. Not only that, but I've blogged about my negative experience with them, my entire office knows about it, my friends and family are aware (my God, have I been boring everyone stupid?), the staff in the computer shop who have been trying to retrieve my data are well aware of it, and if anyone should ever ask me about a Hewlett Packard product, I'll be telling them exactly what I think. Bad word of mouth is very bad for business, even if they are a massive multinational corporation.

Here endeth the rant. I'm going to go and do something constructive now; like plan and pack a picnic for us to take to the beach tonight. That makes me happy, and has no technology involved.