It could all end in tears ...

Well today was a complete piece of poo at work. I walked in and copped a barrage of flak from a salesperson and the day went downhill from there. It was one of those frustrating days where I couldn't spend more than 2 minutes focusing on something without someone appearing at my desk with a question or a demand. Then 2 minutes later they'd be back wanting to know why I hadn't finished the thing they'd asked for 10 minutes ago. Aaargh.

I got so frustrated that when I got asked something this afternoon I pulled one of the managers into a meeting room and burst into tears at him. I told him that I was ready to walk out and not come back. It actually turned into an impromptu meeting where he took 3 pages of notes and we started brainstorming solutions. What started with me being really frustrated with my day and even more frustrated with bursting into tears ended up being really constructive. I think a few bottoms are going to be kicked.

He said that he doesn't want to lose me, and will do pretty much anything to ensure that I stay and I'm happy. I told him that I was hearing from headhunters and that some of the options were very tempting, offering me the chance to spend more time on what I enjoy and less time putting out fires and babysitting adults.

Meanwhile, in the headhunting world, they are checking my references. I've got no idea why they specifically requested me, and now are checking my references. I'm bewildered and still no closer to a decision.

I suspect I'm having some post anaesthetic blues too. I'm sure that doesn't help.

Spinning around

I feel like life is spinning faster and faster at the moment. I'm feeling overwhelmed. I'm struggling to find 5 minutes to myself. I'm being constantly bombarded by people wanting a piece of me, by noise, by committments. The phone rings, another email arrives, my mobile beeps to tell me I've got another message. I'm trying to keep my head above water and stay sane. Today it just feels too hard. I'm not that important or essential. The world will survive if I don't do everything right now.

I need to say NO more often. I need to drive home that when I say NO I mean it.