Well, it feels like forever and 6 weeks since the last time I posted to the blog. I've been appallingly flat out and slack.
My dad's 60th birthday party was a blast. I had the best time with my cousins. It is so good to have that connection - and scary to see how much genes will out. He was really happy with the music that I put together for him - really enjoyed it. We got a thank you letter from him in the mail on Friday - it really hurt that he signed it Regards. I feel sad that he can't admit to loving us.
My first week of the public speaking course went really well. I've never felt so comfortable standing up in front of complete strangers and speaking. I'm really looking forward to next week.
I'm so worried about my brother. He's had problems with alcohol for a long time, but it seems to be getting worse. I discovered yesterday that wines I've had cellared have gone missing. I'm devastated that he has broken my trust like this, and so worried and frustrated. He is the only one who can change his life. I can't do it for him, but it is breaking my heart to watch him throw his life away on the way to rock bottom.
I've been given a promotion at work. I'm really excited about it, as it gives me the development opportunities I've needed, as well as some challenges to keep my brain happy. That, and getting the chance to learn how to be a good manager.
We've had a pretty big scare with my stepfather's health lately. About 10 days ago I was having dinner with 2 of my best friends when my very drunk and slurry brother called me to tell me that our stepfather was being rushed to hospital with chest pains. Who knew I could get across town in 20 minutes legally. He was admitted into the cardio ward and was going to undergo a lot of tests the next day. I think my highlight was seeing my stepbrother threaten to have him declared mentally incompetent if he kept refusing the angiogram. Luckily he passed the angiogram with flying colours, so now he is running a gamut of other health tests to see what could have caused it. I'm not ready to lose someone I love. That 36 hours scared me. Badly. I've been telling lots of people I love them lately.
Showing posts with label health. Show all posts
Showing posts with label health. Show all posts
Sunday, June 08, 2008
Tuesday, January 22, 2008
Guilt
Aren't the flowers absolutely gorgeous? They were delivered to me this evening from my lovely colleagues, with the message "Hope you're feeling better! We all miss you and can't wait to have you back! Things are definitely less interesting without you! Love from all your peeps"
While I've been recuperating, I've been fielding a lot of calls from headhunters. I think I might suggest to my boss that putting mobile numbers on our business cards makes it very easy for headhunters to find us. One company has been really persistent. They sent me through the position description for the company that asked for me by name (yes, ego is very happy!) and I'm seriously tempted. I met with the person who would be my boss today. She is a legend in our industry and I didn't want to pass that chance up.
The job that they want me for is a step up from my current role, but keeps most of my favourite parts. The salary package is an improvement, and has some pretty good benefits I don't currently have. I'm tempted. Very tempted. This would do wonders for my career. I'd be challenged too, and could learn a lot more.
I don't know though. Am I running away from where I work now without fully resolving my work life balance issues? Will a new job help me change things? Is this the right time in my life to make this change? Do I want to deal with new work challenges now or do I want to really focus on getting myself healthy and balanced? Can I get these opportunities where I am now? Am I going to be putting work ahead of myself again? But I'm starting to get bored at work too. I could almost phone it in some days.
I'm torn. I know I can have the job if I want it. I just don't know if I want it or not.
Wednesday, January 16, 2008
Home again
I've made it home again. I feel as if I've been living in another land, where time travels slowly but the outside world continues at normal pace. I don't really believe it is only Wednesday.
My surgery went well, even though I made my best effort to sabotage it. My arms are covered with various holes and bruises from my various drips, with the bruising made worse by me pulling things out in surgery and recovery. I plead unconsciousness as an excuse.
The night of my surgery I was kept in Intensive Care. I felt like such a fraud. My body was sore and my blood pressure was a bit low, but I was coherent and capable of walking and taking care of my basic needs.
It is a strange feeling being the healthiest person on a ward of very sick people. At night, I could hear every conversation that the staff had, including the Nurse Unit Manager arranging a funeral home to pick up someone who had died that day, the hospital gossip without which no hospital is complete, the soothing of fractious patients, and the beeping of the myriad machines.
I'm glad to be home. I'm gladder still that I'm not going back to work until the 29th and that I'm going to give my body the time it needs to recover. I'm gladdest about all the messages that I received - from you guys, my colleagues, my friends and most importantly my family - all wishing me the best recovery possible. Thank you.
My surgery went well, even though I made my best effort to sabotage it. My arms are covered with various holes and bruises from my various drips, with the bruising made worse by me pulling things out in surgery and recovery. I plead unconsciousness as an excuse.
The night of my surgery I was kept in Intensive Care. I felt like such a fraud. My body was sore and my blood pressure was a bit low, but I was coherent and capable of walking and taking care of my basic needs.
It is a strange feeling being the healthiest person on a ward of very sick people. At night, I could hear every conversation that the staff had, including the Nurse Unit Manager arranging a funeral home to pick up someone who had died that day, the hospital gossip without which no hospital is complete, the soothing of fractious patients, and the beeping of the myriad machines.
I'm glad to be home. I'm gladder still that I'm not going back to work until the 29th and that I'm going to give my body the time it needs to recover. I'm gladdest about all the messages that I received - from you guys, my colleagues, my friends and most importantly my family - all wishing me the best recovery possible. Thank you.
Monday, January 14, 2008
Offline
I'm going to be offline for the next few days. I'm heading into hospital this morning for a procedure that should enormously improve my quality of life. Of course, the downside is that I won't have internet access :) Oh poor me.
Take care of yourselves, and I'll catch up with you all when I'm home.
Take care of yourselves, and I'll catch up with you all when I'm home.
Sunday, October 21, 2007
Fight night
Months ago I went and had a sleep study done. It was a very odd experience. As someone who is used to wireless everything, spending the night wired up to (what felt like) thousands of electrodes measuring my all, was very disconcerting. As someone who doesn't sleep well at the best of times, tangling myself up in cables does not improve the quality or quantity of my sleep.
The bottom line is that I sleep really badly. I had to do a couple more studies to ensure that the first one wasn't an aberration. Not fun. I'm lucky to get about an hour of unbroken sleep a night. As an added bonus I stop breathing approximately every 45 seconds. It's overrated. Really. On the plus side though, I have really high levels of oxygen in my blood. Painful bloodtests those ones. My specialist, who I really rate, told me that I was a freak, and that I should be falling asleep combing my hair.
Because of this, I've got a new addition to my bedroom. Unfortunately it isn't anyone from my list. At night I get to put on a very fetching headset, with the quaintly named nasal pillow. All night long this pillow pushes oxygen through my nose, stopping me from stopping breathing. Such fun.
Every night, I have fights with this machine. I haven't made it through one night with the mask staying on my face. I've found it over the other side of the room. I've managed to unplug the machine. I've managed to wrap the tube around my neck. I have no clue that I'm doing any of this until I wake up - usually somewhere between 3 and 4.30 in the morning. I don't think I'm a very nice person for an innocent machine to share a room with.
I'm noticing a difference though. Friday night I fell asleep without the machine, and woke up about 6 am. Yesterday was a complete write off. I was so tired I just wanted to sleep all day. I felt like I'd been hit by a truck, and if I'd combed my hair I would have fallen asleep.* I have to keep trying with this machine. I know what it does to me when I don't use it.
Thank goodness it shouldn't be permanent.
*I brushed it, I swear!
The bottom line is that I sleep really badly. I had to do a couple more studies to ensure that the first one wasn't an aberration. Not fun. I'm lucky to get about an hour of unbroken sleep a night. As an added bonus I stop breathing approximately every 45 seconds. It's overrated. Really. On the plus side though, I have really high levels of oxygen in my blood. Painful bloodtests those ones. My specialist, who I really rate, told me that I was a freak, and that I should be falling asleep combing my hair.
Because of this, I've got a new addition to my bedroom. Unfortunately it isn't anyone from my list. At night I get to put on a very fetching headset, with the quaintly named nasal pillow. All night long this pillow pushes oxygen through my nose, stopping me from stopping breathing. Such fun.
Every night, I have fights with this machine. I haven't made it through one night with the mask staying on my face. I've found it over the other side of the room. I've managed to unplug the machine. I've managed to wrap the tube around my neck. I have no clue that I'm doing any of this until I wake up - usually somewhere between 3 and 4.30 in the morning. I don't think I'm a very nice person for an innocent machine to share a room with.
I'm noticing a difference though. Friday night I fell asleep without the machine, and woke up about 6 am. Yesterday was a complete write off. I was so tired I just wanted to sleep all day. I felt like I'd been hit by a truck, and if I'd combed my hair I would have fallen asleep.* I have to keep trying with this machine. I know what it does to me when I don't use it.
Thank goodness it shouldn't be permanent.
*I brushed it, I swear!
Thursday, May 17, 2007
A question of etiquette
What do you do when a healthcare professional you see regularly and trust, starts peddling multi level marketed vitamins to you in the middle of a consultation?
Friday, May 11, 2007
He sees you when you are sleeping ....
I'm concerned. I seem to be suffering from prophecy in hindsight. Way back in December, I completed a meme about icky Christmas songs, and pointed out the creepiness of Santa watching me when you sleep.
My sleep patterns have been all over the place for the last few years. I can function for weeks on about 4 hours sleep a night, or can have horrendously broken nights sleep - pick an hour, any hour and I've seen it this week. I can also sleep really violently - when I got up the other day I had to rescue pillows and beddings from all over the room, and put the rest of the mattress back on the bad. I'm not even going into my dreams.
To cut a long story short, I've been given a referral to a sleep specialist. They will be doing a sleep study on me. I haven't been able to stop singing "Santa Clause is coming to town" since. My big concern though - what on earth do I wear to be watched sleep? I'm not your nightwear kind of girl - whenever I wear it it tends to end up on the floor, so I generally avoid it. Any suggestions?
My sleep patterns have been all over the place for the last few years. I can function for weeks on about 4 hours sleep a night, or can have horrendously broken nights sleep - pick an hour, any hour and I've seen it this week. I can also sleep really violently - when I got up the other day I had to rescue pillows and beddings from all over the room, and put the rest of the mattress back on the bad. I'm not even going into my dreams.
To cut a long story short, I've been given a referral to a sleep specialist. They will be doing a sleep study on me. I haven't been able to stop singing "Santa Clause is coming to town" since. My big concern though - what on earth do I wear to be watched sleep? I'm not your nightwear kind of girl - whenever I wear it it tends to end up on the floor, so I generally avoid it. Any suggestions?
Thursday, March 22, 2007
Headless chook
Where do all the hours in my day go? At the moment I feel like I am just chasing my tail around, never actually getting anything done. I don't normally feel like this until October or November, so I must be suffering premature holiday season.
I've been making an effort lately to get on top of all of the things that I let slide while work was the be all and end all of my life. I've actually been doing all those things that I kept putting on the list of things I really needed to do, but work was more important. Suddenly I've started putting a focus on my health and me.
I went to the dentist three weeks ago for a check up. I'm ashamed to admit that it was my first dental check up in over 5 years. I've only been to the dentist when there has been something wrong that needed urgent attention. That will teach me. From one check up, where they redid work from a previous root canal, and cleaned my teeth, I've had to make a stack more appointments. Three in fact.
The first one was last Friday, and I bolted to work afterwards, only to find myself in a session about company values. Pretty funny with as much anaesthetic as I'd had - whenever things got tense I would flare my nostrils and whoever saw me would crack up laughing - when only one nostril moves it is quite disconcerting. Centre of attention? Clown? Me? Surely you jest.
Yesterday I went again. My mouth wasn't very keen on going numb, so I ended up having to have 3 anaesthetic injections. Yeah, fun. As long as I can't see the needle going in, I'm fine. The anaesthetic worked a treat on the rest of me though - I fell asleep while my dentist was drilling. The last time dental anaesthetic had that effect on me I was having my legs waxed after a root canal. It's a good thing that I have only ever seen one dentist in my life, but still, it was more than a little embarrassing to be woken up by the dentist. Eeek. And to top it all off, my trout pout was better than Melanie Griffiths' and I could still do the nostril flare. Really looking forward to next Tuesday - I should just have a fat bottom lip.
To top it all off, I went and saw my GP this week too - referral for xrays and other tests because my right hip is sore and referring pain again, and my toenails on that leg have gone silly. The tests will all be over by Friday next week. Last time I felt like this I spent more than a year on crutches. Think healthy thoughts.
So glad I have private health insurance - I'm spending a fortune - but I'm worth it!
Don't have time to think about it though - much - I went to a launch party for the new Macy Gray CD tonight - enjoyed it and love a freebie, tomorrow night the boy gets the rest of his Christmas present with the Weird Al Yankovic concert, and Saturday we are heading rural to see his grandmother (and raid my fave secondhand bookshop). Sunday there is a christening and then a lunch. Phew!!
I've been making an effort lately to get on top of all of the things that I let slide while work was the be all and end all of my life. I've actually been doing all those things that I kept putting on the list of things I really needed to do, but work was more important. Suddenly I've started putting a focus on my health and me.
I went to the dentist three weeks ago for a check up. I'm ashamed to admit that it was my first dental check up in over 5 years. I've only been to the dentist when there has been something wrong that needed urgent attention. That will teach me. From one check up, where they redid work from a previous root canal, and cleaned my teeth, I've had to make a stack more appointments. Three in fact.
The first one was last Friday, and I bolted to work afterwards, only to find myself in a session about company values. Pretty funny with as much anaesthetic as I'd had - whenever things got tense I would flare my nostrils and whoever saw me would crack up laughing - when only one nostril moves it is quite disconcerting. Centre of attention? Clown? Me? Surely you jest.
Yesterday I went again. My mouth wasn't very keen on going numb, so I ended up having to have 3 anaesthetic injections. Yeah, fun. As long as I can't see the needle going in, I'm fine. The anaesthetic worked a treat on the rest of me though - I fell asleep while my dentist was drilling. The last time dental anaesthetic had that effect on me I was having my legs waxed after a root canal. It's a good thing that I have only ever seen one dentist in my life, but still, it was more than a little embarrassing to be woken up by the dentist. Eeek. And to top it all off, my trout pout was better than Melanie Griffiths' and I could still do the nostril flare. Really looking forward to next Tuesday - I should just have a fat bottom lip.
To top it all off, I went and saw my GP this week too - referral for xrays and other tests because my right hip is sore and referring pain again, and my toenails on that leg have gone silly. The tests will all be over by Friday next week. Last time I felt like this I spent more than a year on crutches. Think healthy thoughts.
So glad I have private health insurance - I'm spending a fortune - but I'm worth it!
Don't have time to think about it though - much - I went to a launch party for the new Macy Gray CD tonight - enjoyed it and love a freebie, tomorrow night the boy gets the rest of his Christmas present with the Weird Al Yankovic concert, and Saturday we are heading rural to see his grandmother (and raid my fave secondhand bookshop). Sunday there is a christening and then a lunch. Phew!!
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