Bon voyage

I'm off - back in October.

It's nearly time

At 3.30 on Friday afternoon, our flight will take off. I hope.

The boy and I are heading off to Europe for the first time. Our first stop is Ireland, where we will be spending 2 nights in Dublin before heading off on a 3 day tour of the South of Ireland. I'll catch up with one of my friends who lives in Galway while we are there. Then, back to Dublin for one night before heading off to London.

2 nights in London, where we will catch up with my cousins and about 5 friends. Then to Amsterdam where we have 2 nights, and I will catch up with another friend. Then to Berlin, where I will indulge my history walking to my hearts content. And then Prague, where we will catch up with another friend of mine, and 2 days and nights of exploring. And then to Munich, where we managed to be in town for the first day of Oktöberfest - and wasn't the boy happy when I told him that. I can't believe I kept it a secret for 9 months.

Then to Venice for 2 nights, followed by Rome for 2 nights, and then Florence for 2 nights. My sister has given me long shopping lists for Italy, but I think I'd rather soak up the country. And quite probably the coffee. Then we are off to Switzerland for 2 nights, staying up in the Alps. We don't have much snow in Melbourne, and definitely not spectacular mountains, so I'm really looking forward to it. I've spent some time on the website of the hotel we are staying in, and loving the webcams showing the snow. I've packed thermals.

Then to Paris. I don't know where to start in Paris, but I'm really looking forward to it. The Lonely Planet European guidebook is packed, and so is the Paris guidebook. So much to see and do. So much wandering to do.

Then back to London. I suspect I'll be a little tired by now. One more night in London before we start heading home. First stop Singapore. 3 nights to laze by the pool, visit the zoo, have a drink at Raffles and visit Changi. Then home. 2 days, and back to work.

Then I can think about a career change.

No news is ... no news

I haven't heard anything about the job since Tuesday last week. I got a call on Monday asking for referees to do a reference check and then they would be making an offer. I emailed their contact details through on Tuesday morning and I haven't heard a word since from the headhunter. I've heard from a couple of the other guys who work in the headhunters office, just checking in to see how I'm going, but not from the main recruity guy. It seems quite odd that they chased me, but now nothing. The 2 guys who called me are friends of my brother, and promised him that they would look after me.

The longer it takes, the more ambivalent about it I am.

I haven't cared a huge amount about it over the last few days, as I've been in a lot of pain. With the surgery I had last month, apparently I've overdone it in the last few days and damaged some of the weak muscles in my stomach. I'm back to square one with what I can do until it heals properly. Who really wants clean clothes or a clean house? I got quite a stern telling off from my surgeons office yesterday when I called to check and see if there was anything else I should do following the GP's diagnosis. All I've done for the last 2 days is sit in a chair or lie on my bed. Bored! I'm so going back to work tomorrow before I go nuts. I don't think I'm quite ready to drive yet though.

Our holiday is getting closer and closer though - on Saturday we went and paid for everything outstanding except our hotels in Dublin and Singapore. Less than 7 months til we go now.

Back to reality

I'm back home again. After 12 nights, and 10 days away I'm back home. At the risk of sounding like a real princess, it is heavenly to be back with DSL and not using dial up anymore. I'm also freezing back in Melbourne - who would have thought that Tasmania was warmer. Another myth exploded.

Big things first - my brothers wedding was lovely. My new sister in law looked absolutely beautiful, and the ceremony was very simple. Most of the extended family were very entertained by the 6 or so rabbits hopping around - lots of suggestions of fertility were made. Everytime that we have a big family get together I'm stunned by the resemblance of our family. Looking back at the photo's now, I see groups of people who can't be anything other than related to each other.

The boy and I had a lovely 10 days together. I suspect it can be a test for a relationship to spend that amount of time driving around a strange place, where so many of the roads are what I described as squiggly bits. So many of them had recommended speeds of 15 or 25 kilometres an hour. I've learnt this trip that I really don't like windy, bendy roads, even if travelled slowly. This is a new thing for me - I always loved driving through the Adelaide Hills before they put the straight road in there. Yet I will happily sit on the back of a boat (holding on) when it is on the open sea ploughing through 2 metre waves. The boy gave up trying to understand it.

For the first time ever, we went away without all of our accomodation being prebooked. This is a massive step, especially for the boy, who lives by his schedule. We were lucky though. We managed to get 4 star accomodation in Launceston for 2 nights at a reduced rate in a magnificient historic building, and a 3 bedroom beachfront house on the Freycinet Penisula. Our main accomodation in Hobart sucked big time though. Not sure how you can forget to mention to bookings that you are undergoing major renovations. Won't ever be returning there. Cradle Mountain was magical though. After driving 5 hours with lots of squiggly bits on the roads, and the last 2 hours in the dark with no mobile reception, it was heavenly to arrive somewhere with the open fire ready laid for us, a queen size bed with a great mattress and electric blanket, and an electric heater to take the chill off until the fire kicked in. It was quite funny when we were unloading the car though - we had a possum keep trying to get in the door.

Next morning we had this visitor. He visited us regularly.











Home now, and the last photo that I took was this. Sunrise on the Spirit of Tasmania.

Since I've been gone ...

I haven't forgotten the blog, I've been writing stuff, I just haven't posted it yet. Today is the first time in 5 days that I've had internet access and it is dial up. Oh, the pain! A very brief pictorial history of my last few days ...


Making me smile


I love the feel of dried salt spray on me


Family gathering?!?


Swim platypus swim


Words fail me


The view from our deck


Sea caves


Dinner!


This view, champagne, freshly shucked oysters, biscuits and cheese



Dolphins!!

It has been nearly a month since we got home from our weekend away, and I've finally got around to uploading some of the photos I took while we were away.

The view from our bedroom window.

Give me a home among the gumtrees

Sample beers from the brewery where we went for dinner.
Nice hosts to drive us there and pick us up.

Morning coffee on the verandah.

Every rose has its thorns.

Those dark satanic mills.
The electricity generation plants dominated the landscape.
I couldn't stop myself watching them.
They horrified me, and yet I have reaped the benefits.

I hear the secrets that you keep...

We had a lovely weekend away - photos to follow soon when I get my act together enough to download them. Again, it was one of those weekends with the odd dreaming and the bizarre talking in my sleep made the first conscious conversations each morning pretty peculiar.

Just after midnight Saturday night, I felt the need to tell the boy what I thought was wrong with Lindsay Lohan, and how he needed to stop being a bad influence on her. Apparently I wasn't very helpful explaining who she was or what was wrong with her. He still doesn't understand what I was talking about. Not sure that I do either.

Sunday morning we were doing that doze, read, doze thing that makes Sunday morning so lovely when you don't have to get up if you don't want to. I admit that I was doing more sleeping than reading. I got quite agitated at one point, and told him that we had to go to church. He tried to calm me down, and told me that church was over for the day. That's when I told him God was mad with him. Every church we drove past after that, he offered to stop for me. Helpful.

Sunday night in my dream I got stuck in my gmail inbox. It didn't matter what I did but whenever I spoke to someone they got a star next to them, and it was like the simpsons episode when homer disappears into the third dimension. I could move my arms and the inbox moved with them. Freaky. At least I wasn't the only one having odd dreams - he dreamt that I was yelling at him because he hadn't cleaned up his bedroom. The funniest part is that I've never met anyone with a tidier bedroom than him (and we won't talk about my messy bedroom!)

Monday morning he was trying to convince me that waking up for breakfast in bed was a good idea. Nah, wasn't interested. I did ask him to promise that we wouldn't call our children Sapphire and Kevin though. He thinks I'm nuts.

Hitting the road ...

Monday is our last public holiday until November. I'm not sure if it is particularly cruel to make us all work through the grey of winter without a day off to look forward to, or particularly good planning to stop excessive sickies when the weather is nice and no one wants to be at work. I wonder if that applies in other countries too - are there more public holidays in winter or summer?

Anyway, the boy and I are off for the weekend. The forecast for the weekend is for cold, foggy mornings, and crisp clear days. I'm looking forward to enjoying red wine next to the open fire, the roast I've got planned for Sunday night, dinner out tonight (and the nice people where we are staying are driving us there and back!), and wandering around new towns and places. I've remembered to pack my camera, so hopefully some photos when I get back.

It's Christmas time, there's no need to be afraid ...

It will be humanly possible to fit everything in on time. Today I'm using the blog as a bit of a to do list - hopefully I'll be able to check back and mark stuff off as done.

There are 15 days until Christmas, 16 days until my brothers birthday, 13 days until my birthday party and 15 days until my birthday.

Between now and then I need to:

Put the BBQ together so that we can eat at my birthday party
Finish writing all of my Christmas cards and post them
Buy stamps to post the cards with
Start Christmas shopping (thank goodness for the internet)
Wrap Christmas presents
Get my car fixed so it doesn't overheat, and have the air conditioning regassed
Go to 2 Christmas BBQ's
Go to one Christmas carol service
Shop for my birthday party
Fly to Sydney for the day for work and a Christmas party
Go to the Kylie Minogue concert
Help Mum plan and prepare Christmas day and shopping for it
Work out what I want for my birthday lunch with the family
Clean the house
Finish reading the books for book club
Book Club Christmas break up
Work full time
Maintain a relationship
Take the cat to the vet for his vaccination

I know I was hoping to get a work/life balance back when I changed jobs, but I think I've gone to the other extreme and over balanced on the life side of things. It is still better than being over focussed on work, and hopefully I'll learn to balance better once I get through December.

I'm excited about Christmas, I just wish I had a few more weeks to fit it all in and prepare. I think I knew I was feeling a bit overwhelmed the other day when I started scheduling naps.

tension

We had an incredibly tense day while we were away (I know it wasn't that long ago, but my only reminder is my peeling shins - ewww). We both woke up grumpy, and it was one of those out of sorts days for both of us. Ironically, it was the day with the best weather we had the entire time, and I hold it completely responsible for my sunburnt shins. Of course my inability to correctly apply sunscreen had nothing to do with it.

It was one of those days where there were great parts, but the tension was still there, and things just didn't click. We decided to do some laundry and potter around in town and then have a quiet dinner back in our treehouse before going out for a couple of drinks. Didn't quite happen. Neither of us knew where the laundromat was in town so we drove around a bit and didn't find it. Rather than go to the information place he decided to park and then we would just walk around looking for it. We walked around for a couple of blocks without any success. I'm not sure about anyone else, but my idea of a good time does not include wandering around an unknown town with a bag of my dirty clothes in 30 degree weather.

It was one of those angry walks (mmm ... Jason Isaacs on the TV .... must focus...) where 2 people are walking together fast, not speaking, and obviously not happy. We ended up standing on a street corner "discussing" where the laundromat (be still my heart, Alan Rickman just appeared) was and what was going to happen. I've never had a public discussion like that before - my voice got raised and my hands were flying all over the place. I don't think I was making much sense - I seem to remember saying that he could go and do his laundry wherever he liked, but I was going to get a cab and go home, and I thought it would be a good idea if I slept on the balcony in the hammock. Straight into the martyr fight pose - not one I like, and not one I'm proud of.

The tension wasn't helped when we got back to the car, and discovered that the laundromat was across the road from where we parked, and we had completely missed it in our angry walk. We went and started the laundry and then he decided he was going to go for a walk. Much as I never wanted to see him again, I was even angrier being left alone with the laundry, and then having to get it all washed and dried. He used the magic trick of managing to reappear right as everything was washed and dried, having finished all of his family gift shopping. Not amused - me, as I didn't get to get mine finished.

Being the mature adults that we are, we both went the silent treatment at each other all the way back to the treehouse, except for me giving directions (boasty moment, I'm better at navigation!!), generally left here, next right, straight ahead. Silence continued once we got back to the treehouse, and I ran away downstairs to have a cry in peace. He decided that it was a good time to go out and fill the car up with petrol, and then I just lost it - had a bit of a yell, mainly about being left alone with laundry and selfishness. Back to silence, and not a happy one. Him, the angry brooding silence, which I really don't cope with well, even though I'm very good at it, me, the pouty, sulky silence, which generally means that I'm sitting there thinking "why aren't you asking me what is wrong", "can't you see that I'm upset", "why aren't you psychic, why can't you see that I'm pissed, and try to make it better". I've never been one for high expectations really.

Eventually, still in daylight hours, he decided to start telling me how he was really feeling, and had a bit of a yell. One thing I have learnt from experience is how much he hates to be interrupted, so I just let him go. We are both very good at bottling stuff up, and then I tend to yell, he tends to be angry and just cut everything off. After lots of talking, and more crying from me, we eventually managed to resolve it all. I sometimes think that me crying is unfair, because I know that he really hates it when I cry, especially when he can't do anything to fix it, but at the same time, I don't want to bottle up tears when I feel like crying. I did it for 20 years or so, and it doesn't help.

I'm proud that we worked through it all in the same day, and I have a sneaking suspicion that one of the reasons we were both so tense and the fighting actually happened is that we were both testing the boundaries of the relationship, seeing if the other wanted to use it as a get out of the relationship card. I think we both still have times that we are scared, and occasionally wondering if this will really work. One of the things that I'm really happy about is that we agreed way before we get around to getting married (his threat of December 29 is past - we don't have time to get the paperwork done! That and he still didn't get around to asking properly) we will go and have pre marital counselling. I really think it is essential - I'm scared of divorce, and the pain that it causes, and I've seen it rip mine, and too many other families apart. I think that if we can learn better ways to deal with issues and conflicts it is definitely worth doing. I don't want him out of my life - and the one thing that I was scared of when we were fighting was just that.

I first wrote this post nearly 3 weeks ago, when I was still very emotional, and way too close to it, so I have been editing it over the last week or so, so please forgive any disjointedness and epicness.

Where do you go my lovely?

Yes I have been remiss. I've been reading all of your blogs, and commenting, but my brain has just been mushy trying to learn a new job, dealing with Christmas already (hello world, it is still November!!!! Call back in December!), maintaining a relationship and spending time with my friends and family. The seasonal obligation whirl has already kicked in, and I find myself needing to maintain the calendar vigilantly, otherwise we are going to be all over the place.

Does anyone have any suggestions for good online invitations? I've just realised it is a month until I want to have my birthday party, and with most people being online I want to see what ideas I can find to use, borrow or plagiarise :) I haven't really celebrated my birthday with all of my friends a party since I turned 25, so I think it is well and truly time. I know that the date is a shocker, but feel free to raise that with my parents, and be thankful I'm not celebrating on the actual day

I've had a couple of emails asking why I haven't mentioned the boy lately - all will be revealed in my next post - I promise!