Calm

I had a very interesting drive to work yesterday morning after my night of bizarre dreams and futile coin tossing. Tossing coins and then responding with best of three, no, best of five, is not the way to make important decisions.

So, my trip to work too about 40 minutes longer than usual. Taxi drivers were protesting at a major intersection and the flow on effect hit all inbound roads. Sitting in traffic, listening to the radio, I found myself thinking that it would be really good if I had a Blackberry, cos that way I could get ahead of my work day.

Big red stop sign.

I don't want to have a Blackberry. I don't want to have a work laptop to use at home. I want my friends and family to be able to spend time with me. I don't want to end up feeling the way I did by the end of my last job. Those of you who have been around for a while probably remember that. A month after leaving there my mum told me that I was nice again. I don't want to go back to being that person.

I made a lot of people very happy yesterday. Most importantly, I made myself happy. My relationships are more important to me than work. I think I've finally learnt it. I know that I have workaholic tendencies - and I've been trying to shed them for a while. I don't need to have a 6 figure salary. I can support myself, put a little away for a rainy day, regularly support my charities of choice. Money is nice (ok, very nice), but the people in my life are more important.

Oh, and the little piece of professional satisfaction? Within five minutes of leaving my bosses office telling her that I would be staying I'd received a call from the CEO telling me how very happy he was that I was staying and promising to support further development and salary increases, 3 emails from different HR people, and a massive hug from the Sales Manager who was over the moon. I'm feeling very valued and appreciated.

Not very helpful

My subconscious mind is sacked. All it could give me last night was that the guy I used to work with who is now at the new company was going to ask me to marry him, and George W Bush is going to do an ad for a new small Nissan using the song Flathead by The Fratellis.

Not very helpful at all. Confused? Yes.

Introduction

Rock, meet hard place. I'm sorry I'm between you keeping you separated.

So, my work has been coming back with counter offers. Mainly around development rather than money at this stage. They are more interested in getting the development right for me, and ensuring that I'm happy and challenged and then working on the money. I must admit that I do like that approach. They have also asked me for a list of everything that I want in terms of remuneration so that we can work through it. They have also been flying senior management down from Sydney to talk to me about staying.

Today I had coffee with the MD of the company that really wants me. I put all my cards on the table. I told him that I needed to work through the options that I am being presented at my current employer so that I can walk away without any regrets. I need it to be right for me so I don't turn around in three months and say "I wish ... " So I got an email from him this evening. They have increased their salary offer by $10k per year, added in a laptop, CBD carpark and home high speed internet access. No fries though. My brother suggested that I get a playstation for him as well.

By this time tomorrow night the decision will be made. I suspect I will come down to the coin flip. Heads I stay, tails I go. My reaction when I see the coin will tell me everything I need to know.

If it's Sunday, I must have a dilemma

I've been offered a job. A very good job. A job that would give me a lot of very nice benefits as well as good mental challenges. Being the uber geek that I am, I've spent a lot of time with a spreadsheet listing the pros and cons of each company. I'm pretty confident that I've made my decision, but thought it wouldn't hurt to list them here too.

Company A
Pros
The team
A lot to learn from Sales Director and Group Sales Manager
Leave for September/October already approved
Close to public transport
Able to be flexible when necessary for appointments

Cons
Hate the way that I am feeling at work - seem to be constantly angry, frustrated, bitchy and cynical
Don't feel like I'm doing my job - always seem to be supporting systems, not doing what I'm paid for.
To grow in my career with the company means moving to Sydney
Very little support from Sydney - I have had a new manager in Sydney since the beginning of January and still have yet to meet him.

Company B
Pros
New challenges
Mentored into a management role by August
The team
Going back to more of a start up feel - have more input into systems and processes
Working with a legend in my industry (who I really like as a person)
My September/October leave will be honoured (and paid)
Close to public transport
Career Development without moving to Sydney
International support to deal with work when needed without staying back
Additional resources
Team has international experience - a lot of different things to learn

Cons
Have to establish myself in a new company
What if I suck as a manager?
How much extra will I be expected to do with a crackberry, or is it just for emergencies within specific times?
Not sure just how much flexibility I will have - a crackberry should do it though

So, what do you think? I haven't listed any salary or benefit options - I'm reasonably confident that my current employer will do anything they can salary wise to keep me, so I'm not factoring that in at all.