Sweetie Darling

Jellyhead started me thinking today about pet names and terms of endearment. I've got pet names that I use for all of my family, and many of my close friends. My sister can be called Chooky, Ceiling, Strudel, Bruce, Smee or Rudy. I have brother known to many as Grub, and to some as Fleabag. My other brother is often called Rhodendendron, Warren or Rodey. I've heard my mother called Hilarious, my aunt called 3LO, my stepfather called Chucklepops and my dad called Red.

More than that though, I tend to use terms of endearment for some of the people I work with. At the moment I seem to be calling most people bloss, which has caused some raised eyebrows when I've called one of the boys that in the middle of the room. A couple of people are still getting hon, hun or honey, and there are a couple of babes in the mix too.

I'm trying to think just how many people I have called by their proper name this week, and I'm struggling to think of one. I abbreviate my boss's name, she abbreviates mine, people with short names are made longer, people who should be respected (ie the CEO's) are abbreviated to their initials, or a corruption of their surname. The boy I'm currently text flirting with (long story) is known by a corruption of the abbreviation of his surname. (sorry convoluted I know!) He whom I wish to spend the rest of my life with gets called, and calls me a variety of pet names, and starts worrying when I call him by either his full given name, or the commonly used abbreviation. I have to admit that I look around when he calls me by the commonly used abbreviation of my first name too.

Is it a typically Australian thing? I don't know. I know that my New Zealand and English friends struggle to get their heads around it the most, until they have been here for a while. I'm always relieved when simultaneous translation is no longer required.

Consumed by blogging...?

Apparently my blog owns 12.5% of me. I'm quite relieved, I was starting to think that it was consuming more than a bit of my time and life. Yes I know that this survey may not be the most scientific way of checking, but it will do for me right now... Now, if someone can do a survey on all the blogs I read each day, I might have a slightly different result.

I've worked out who will win the 2006 AFL Premiership

Yes, I'm going out on a limb here, but I think that Melbourne will be the 2006 Premiers. Yes, I know that only one game in the finals has been completed, but I think I've worked it out.

In 2004 Port Adelaide won the Premiership. To get there, they had to defeat St Kilda and knock St Kilda out of the finals.

In 2005 Sydney won the Premiership. To get there, they had to defeat St Kilda and knock them out of the finals.

Last night Melbourne defeated St Kilda and knocked us out of the finals. So following the theory that when it isn't all about me, it is all about my football team, Melbourne will be the 2006 Premiers.

Yes, I'm going to feel mighty silly if they get knocked out next week, but I'll deal with that should it happen!

When I grow up ....

I want to be Renee Geyer

She is awesome. I was at the Countdown Spectacular tonight and she just held the audience in her hands.

Wow!

Have you looked down the back of the couch?

How very careless of me, I've lost my assistant at work.

Why do I feel so relieved? I was so excited when I was told that I was getting an assistant at work to alleviate my workload and let me focus on the fun stuff of my job and really grow and learn more in my job.

Honestly, I wasn't that impressed with the hire my manager made to be my assistant. I thought that she was over qualified to do the job, and was just using it as an escape hatch from her previous role within the company which I knew she hated. I much preferred the other candidate.

She started really well, and was bubbling over with enthusiasm, and really eager to learn. After 3 months though, my stress levels were going through the roof. We split the workload so that we each had clear lines and differences in responsibilities, so that there was no confusion. There were constant omissions, no interest in meeting deadlines, and no initiative or willingness to take responsibility for any decisions or actions. I spent a lot of time fixing mistakes, and apologising to frustrated internal and external clients. Not fun. After 5 months - migraines, lack of sleep, and a whole lot of tears.

When she resigned on Monday, I'm sure that my blood pressure dropped and I know that my stress levels did. I've slept better the last 2 nights than I have in weeks, and I'm so much happier.

At the same time, I'm thinking a lot. Am I such a control freak that things have to be my way or not at all? Am I so hypercritical that I always focus on the faults and never on the positive? Could I have done more to keep her motivated and engaged, or did she check out a while ago, and know that I wouldn't let anything go wrong because of my pride in the job being well done... Do I have problems trusting others to do the right thing by myself, themselves, our clients and the business? With the massive expectations I have for myself, do I expect everyone else to live up to them or instantly condemn them or write them off as not as committed as me?

This is really confronting stuff. I don't think that I'm perfect (okay, maybe....) but I'm dealing with issues I've been hiding from for years, even though some of it has been mentioned in previous performance reviews. I think I need to have a pretty long session, either with someone from HR, or my manager. The scary thing is that the more I think about this, the more I suspect it applies in my personal life as well. Ouch.

Happy belated birthday

On Tuesday, my right hip turned 6. I've been thinking about what has changed in my life since then, and what has remained the same.

My friendship group and socialising has changed a lot. I spent over a year on crutches, and I'm still surprised by the "friends" that only wanted to spend time with me in nightclubs, and didn't make the effort to return my calls or come to visit me. Not surprising, these people aren't part of my life anymore. The people I am closest to now are the ones that visited me in hospital regularly, and made the time to come and see me at home until I could get out a bit more. Real friends.

I am much more content on my own now. I can happily spend days by myself without needing human contact or validation. I have to be careful though, otherwise I can get to Monday morning without seeing anyone since Friday afternoon. Perhaps I could go off and become a hermit.

One of the best things about the time spent in hospital, and the time spent recuperating is that my relationship with my family really improved and is much stronger. I had had a pretty rocky year with my family before this happened, and this definitely made a difference. There is no way that I could have got through this without my family, especially my Mum. I had just moved home, and am very lucky that I had.

For those of you who are wondering, I had an aneurysmal bone cyst at the neck of my femur. The growth of the cyst meant that I had a broken leg (and had been walking on it for some weeks), and also a broken hip. The surgery involved a bone transplant, multiple screws and plates, and a scar caused by 60 odd staples putting my leg back together. Nice work by the surgeon though - it has faded so well that the scar is only obvious by touch. Lowlight - having the biopsy through my groin done twice cos the wrong needle was used. Although pethidine afterwards = good! Highlight - telling people I was going to rehab.

Blah......

blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. That is how I'm feeling today, and most of this week. I'm working on a post about why, and hopefully that will help to lift it.

Enough about my mood, how are you?