I've been reverting to my workaholic habits again. Every day this week I've been sitting at my desk before 8 am, several before 7.30 am. I left work at 6.50 tonight. My earliest finish for the week. I took 20 minutes for lunch today too, so I've been really slack. I took a personal phone call too.
I don't want to turn back into the person I was 15 months ago. I'm tired. Naturally. I'm dreaming about work and getting frustrated. On the plus side, it did solve a problem that has been bugging me for months. I'm snappy. I know I'm doing it, and I hate it, but I think I've forgotten how to stop. My weekends are too short. I'm trying to pack in a whole world of life into the weekend. I think about packing it all in and becoming a checkout chick. All care and no responsibility. I'm not happy right now.
I love my early mornings and late finishes. They are the most productive parts of my day. My day goes downhill about 9 when all the questions start, and really improves about 5. It sounds egotistical, but I know I'm good at my job. I know that I wouldn't have the demands on me if I wasn't. The problem I'm facing now is that I've created a monster. I have ideas and suggestions, so my colleagues use them. I'm so busy helping them to their job, I'm struggling to get mine done.
I need some help here. I'm losing the balance I was starting to build in my life. I was lying in bed last night looking at my day. I got up, I had a shower and washed my hair, had coffee and breakfast while I was online, drove to work, worked, took 10 minutes to grab lunch to eat at my desk, worked, drove home, tried not to strangle my landlord, had a glass of wine, put on a face mask, watched TV and was online (yes, those 4 were concurrent. Multitasking anyone?), and went to bed. Did I make anyone happy? What made me happy (besides my call with the boy on my way home)? Did I add value to anyone's life yesterday? I know I made one of the richest men in the world richer. Wow, that's an achievement.
Help me out here. What helps you find balance? How do you stop work from being all consuming? What makes you happy? What helps you stop the world and take time?
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11 comments:
Not that it helps that much but you made me happy when you commented on my post:
"Have a wonderful wedding weekend. Enjoy the time with your family. I don't think you need to change your blog. Eveything that is in our life comes back to our home and our family in some way."
You remind me so much of our oldest daughter who has been 'driven' most of her life. In describing yourself, you've described her. AND...she is much older than you...married with grown children...still asking herself the same questions.
I wish I had the answers for both of you. It's an issue that must be resolved by yourself and your God.
I'll be checking back with you when we return. Butch says thanks for the kind comment!
Not to sound like a know-it-all, but I have been right where you are.
I can't write all the things i did here to improve my quality of life because it is too much to write here, so send me an email and minzesm@comcast.net and I will tell you what I did and give you some ideas too.
I haven't worked your type of job before, so I can't give you any sensible advice about workload management.
I do know that if I don't schedule in exercise at least 3 times a week, I am one stressed-out puppy. It's worth it even if it's just a 15 minute fast walk. Without that exertion, I think I would end up perpetually anxious. I think being fitter and calmer also improves productivity. So if you aren't doing regular exercise, I'm sure that would help.
I wish you lots of luck. I'm sure now that you are alert to your growing stress and long hours, you will work towards a solution. This can be the weekend where the tide turns!
Best regards,
Jelly
in_spired - thank you. I'm glad that my comment made you happy. I really appreciate you telling me. I'm glad I'm not alone.
mike, you've got an email. I'll take any suggestions you have gratefully.
Jelly, you are right. Excercise does make a difference. I have been letting it slide lately. I think I need to find someoene else to do my boxing sessions with - I miss them. A fast walk always becomes a wander with me - I get sidetracked looking at things :)
You write in a way that is so interesting.
Our lives are completely different. I crave time, because my free time is in snatches and grabs but a lot of it is tedious and looking after my children and being a house slave.
I dream of working full time and being around adults and doing adult things, and earning good money and having people look up to me.
Time management is a huge deal for all of us though isn't it. It's fitting in time for us; finding something that makes us remember what it is to be our unique and wonderful selves. It is hard. We put ourselves last on the list.
What helps me stop the world and take time is ditching the kids and going to the library or the cinema. Anything I can escape my reality to.
Good luck with this girl!
I am way booked. Overbooked. For me (and I know this is different, for a woman), it's getting outside - hunting - with my dogs. I also shoot competition, and for fun. Now, I do this most of the time with customers, so it's still work, in a way...but fun, too. If you saw my schedule, it would probably mirror yours. I travel lots (work again). My best time to work is early in the am and after 6, when customers aren't quite so constant. But I'm on call 24/7 in the oilfield,and on the go 365 a year.
Probably the only difference is that I HAVE to get out of the office to go see customers...which would probably help you, somewhat.
My husband helps; my dogs help (and they are really funny, all combined); our sons help. But mostly, the Lord. He gives me the grace. Crazy, huh?
You can e-mail me at jane at snelsoncompanies dot com and we can talk further.
Heck, just laughing at my crazy life might give you a breather!
PS - blogrolled ya....I like how you write!
Betty, thank you. We all want things that we don't have, don't we. I wonder if there is some genetic thing that makes us put ourselves last all the time, or if we are so scared that people won't approve. The library and the movies - 2 of my favourite places.
Janie, sounds like you have a crazy thing going on there. Having visited your blog and started reading through, I can see where your help is coming from. Thanks for adding me too :)
When I was still working, I always looked forward to weekends to spend time with my friends. We don't talk about work. Instead, we talked about pleasant things. Relaxing on weekends helped relieved my stress from work.
Wow, I'm afraid that I don't have much to say that would help, but it definitely helps to carve out regular time during the week to be with friends.
I have Thursday night as my climbing night at the gym every week and then dinner afterwards with (usually) a large group of them. Having a scheduled time to get together every week with my friends helps me remember what life is like outside of my everyday quagmire of childcare/teaching and I hold it sacred. That and I get a really great workout, too. ;-)
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