Thursday, April 12, 2007

Help me if you can, I'm feeling dow-own

I'm sick to death of crutches. I'm sick of being sore. I hate that the pain and lack of sleep are making me cranky and snappy. I'm frustrated that when I try to do things, I'm really bad at knowing when to stop so I hurt more and then my physio tells me off because my ankle has swollen back up again to nearly double size. I hate even more that I can't do anything physical, so when I've got the pain under control I'm not tired enough to sleep.

Sick of me yet? I am. I've started about 6 posts in the last week and haven't finished any of them because they all descend into wallowing, ranting, frustration and self pity. Over it. Because I have to stay put, I don't want to read, and I've got the attention span of a gnat when it comes to tv or dvd's.

I'm really bad at asking for help though. Being the control freak from hell, I still keep trying to do things for myself rather than ask someone else to help me. God forbid I should have to rely on someone else to do something for me, and admit that I can't do everything. I hate admitting that I can't do something (bloody minded, me?) and at the same time I feel guilty asking someone else to help because they are busy and have things to do too. It is different when someone notices that I need help - I'm happy to accept it then. I wonder why that is?

2 comments:

jellyhead said...

Aw, boy that sounds *suck-y*. You have every right to wallow and rant. In fact I'm disappointed by your lack of decent complaining. (C'mon already - do some serious bitching will you?)

I know what you mean about not asking for help - I am the same. I hate to feel like any kind of a burden.

I still don't know what injury or affliction you're enduring but it sounds dreary and exhausting having to deal with it. I hope things turn a corner soon. In the meantime, please know whinging is not only allowed but expected ;)

velvet girl said...

I don't ask for help either. I hear you completely!

Still, this is the place to unburden. It's good to get it out of your system... really it is. Go right ahead!

Have they even figured out what's wrong yet?