Sunday, June 25, 2006

The race that knows Joseph

When I was a kid, I loved the Anne of Green Gables series of books by LM Montgomery. I'm not so sure why, but the first one was my least favourite. Not sure why, but I digress. I've been rereading Anne's House of Dreams this weekend and find myself captivated again by Miss Cornelia's description of people as "the race that knows Joseph" This is people that think like us and that we like the company of.

I really felt the phrase is pertinent to me right now. To explain, my brother has recently become engaged to his girlfriend of a couple of years. I'm thrilled for him, because I know that she makes him happy, and gives him some stability. My challenge though, is that I like her, and think she is nice (damning with faint praise I know), but I struggle with her. Whenever we have a conversation, it never gets beyond questions and answers - there is no easy flow of ideas or conversation. I'm sure it goes both ways too - I watch her with my sister, and they don't seem to have this problem. I don't think it is a resentment of someone else coming into my close family, because I've had great relationships with my brother's other girlfriends, and my sisters boyfriends. It isn't an age thing either - she is only a couple of years younger than me, and I have a much better relationship with my sister's boyfriend who is more than 10 years younger than me.

It is funny, because people I love, whose opinion's I respect, who have a shared background and enough shared sensibility with me, have a great relationship with her, but I'm still at the acquaintance level with her, and I don't know how to kick it up to the next level. I guess I just keep trying, and make sure that my brother doesn't realise. I don't want him to be hurt, or feel that he has to choose between us. If we stay at acquaintance level so be it, but I'll just keep trying.


tigtog said...

Difficult situation. I don't have any good advice, I'm afraid. With a bit of luck sometime soon you'll suddenly realise you share a love of something rare and dorktacular and then there won't be any reserve.

thisisme said...

Rare and dorktacular - my favourites!