I've launched myself back into the dating scene, and I'm daunted. Actually launched is probably the wrong word and I would be better to describe myself as tentatively poking the very end of my little toe in, hoping that it isn't too cold, and that there aren't sharks circling around ready to bite.
I've realised that the person that I want to spend my life with isn't ready to commit to me, or anyone. I've spent the last couple of years hoping that he will change, but I've realised that it just isn't going to happen, and by waiting, and continuing things the way they are, all I'm doing is giving him permission to keep going the way he is, and not valuing myself enough. I deserve more than that.
So, I joined a couple of dating websites, and let my friends know that I'm interested in meeting people. I made a promise to myself that I wouldn't try to sabotage myself, and that I would make the effort to meet everyone who was interested in meeting me.
I've been emailing a couple of guys back and forth, and talking to them on messenger. I've agreed to meet one of them for lunch on Saturday. Since agreeing to meet him, I've had a couple of chats with him on messenger that make me wonder whether or not I'm doing the right thing. First he asked me if I minded that he was a virgin. Honestly, no I don't. Then (while I was at work!) he asked me yesterday if it was an issue that he had a small penis. I don't think he has an idea of appropriate conversations to have with women. I found myself wondering how he knows he has a small penis, and what he has compared it to. He is certainly being overly optimistic about what is going to happen on Saturday - I have absolutely no intention of having sex with him.
Oh, and I forgot to mention that I'm being very careful - no one has my surname, my address, my home phone number - only my hotmail address and mobile number. I'm also meeting him in a very public place, and have a phone call set up for an hour into the date to help with a quick escape if necessary.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment